Just Can’t . . .

Unsettling.

Yes, this is the perfect description of how I felt for  the past few days. I have all these feelings I can’t named and understand and sometimes I thought they’re just in my mind.

I can’t explain why I get tired, like really tired, when I am not into strenuous activities lately. Well, if you could call hitting the gym twice a week, for an hour of cardio then maybe, I got the answer to my questions. But you know, it’s not that.

I get really pumped up every time I thought of writing an entry for my blog but every time I sign in, I lost the focus on which one to do first. I feel like I wanted to change the appearance first, the name and I even think of deleting all the posts but didn’t because I thought of the few special people who politely commented and liked my posts and it gets me excited even more.

I thought of the hormones. I think my eggs are in some kind of zumba in there. Yes, ovulation period. Yes, I do sense them like a normal woman does. Do you?  But as I’m writing this now, I don’t really feel proud blaming the hormones for all these blabber.

I thought of my full-time job. It’s right here and I’ve got lots of checks to deposit, subscriptions to trace and follow up, periodicals to index and a whole lot of unfinished works I no longer know where to start. It’s creeping me out.

I thought of how unfortunate it is to not have water in the office so, I get to buy my own water downstairs. Hey, before I was able to write that statement ahead, I think I got a 3-minute lapse. Geez, such a waste of time. Thinking of time, I remembered a quote ” A time enjoyed wasting is not a wasted time,” and I dunno it that was the right passage.

Suddenly, I remembered how I wanted to take a leave this morning when I woke up at 6:43. (I reread the first statement of this entry, stopped and wrote this.) I feel funny. Wait, yeah, this morning I wanted to take a leave because I was tired and I woke up late because I slept late but I don’t think that’s too late. Anyway, I slept at 12:43 last night or was that this morning? but yes, that’s 12:43. Read the next paragraph to know why.

I get really addicted to make-up video tutorials. (Wait, before I was able to write the addiction on makeup tutorials thingy, I was tempted to read again this whole entry from the top.Gosh, and you know what happens next if I was able to read this entire entry again? I’ll be tempted to edit, restructure, recreate this post, whatever is the term and this post will surely go nowhere. If I did succumbed to my habit of editing posts in the middle of writing them, I’ll surely end up trashing this post away. Good thing I didn’t (trash or edit?) Of course you’ll know because of the next paragraph.)

Suddenly, I thought of my students, my class tomorrow and the midterm exams next week. (Gosh, I must stop. This has to end!) See? Now you know how uneasy, disorganized, crazy and plainly cannot-be-figured-out-attitude I got today.

END.

Wait, I’m not supposed to put an end to this post yet, but I think I have to. 571 words of barely nothing but sentiments. Oh, it’s 577, wait 580 words already. No, it’s 583. (As I write, my eyes were on the lower right of the screen chasing the automatic word count. I must say, it’s worth my time 🙂

 

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