I’d like to believe everybody is good by nature.I’d like to think I’m one of “everybody” but I maybe wrong.I could be a freak, a beast or just a plain nobody.I could be not worth anybody’s time and affection. But I’ve seen myself higher than this until now.Some beast triggered the beast in me and I am scared.
I’m scared of the helpless little girl in me.I’m scared every time she goes out.She is painful, fearful and scary. She is hurt, helpless and alone.She is that girl I thought had long gone.I was wrong.She was just fearfully hiding herself somewhere deep and dark.
But now, I saw her, again.I felt her.I felt her pain.I felt her tears.I felt her chest harden as she struggled to breathe.She wants to live.But she is scary. She is painful. She is the remnant of the battles I fought hard. That was so long ago. So long ago. But the pain is alive, fresh and vivid. And it is scary. It scares me now. Completely.